Friday, May 6, 2016

Editorial Report 15b

Audience questions:
1. The content hardly changed to be honest. I maybe added a few more words but apart form that the content did not change.
2. The form did not change as much either. I added a few more sound effects to make listeners actually feel like they are listening to a podcast.


Rough cut:
Another factor, which contributed to improving my writing for this semester, are the blog post activities. Doing activities such as the “Research report” gave me an opportunity to analyze the reliability of the sources I use. This made me become more critical in my research and writing as I wanted to ensure that my sources were accurate and credible to use in my projects. In addition, blog assignments such as editorial reports was a task which benefited my writing in my project. The use of editorial reports was an opportunity to look back at my work, find the weaknesses and correct them. This definitely was an activity I benefited from as parts of my project I feel improved tremendously from this editorial activity.

Re-edited selection:
Link
1:58-2:43


Editorial Report 15a

Audience questions:
1. The content hardly changed to be honest. I maybe added a few more words but apart form that the content did not change.
2. The form did not change as much either. I added a few more sound effects to make listeners actually feel like they are listening to a podcast.


Rough cut:
Ever since I was small I always had trouble writing. But with practice over time, I have improved consistently improved as a writer. With better sentence structure, trying to limit the use of passive voice and smoother transitions, the fluidity of my writing has improved. From constantly writing in new essays in different genres, readings, using rhetorical strategies, all have helped improve my writing.

Re-edited selection:
Link
0:00-0:35

Peer review for Nicki

Last peer review! Finally!

Audience question: I practised my editorial skills this week by peer reviewing Nicki I gave useful advice which I feel she will benefit from.


Name: Nicki
Title: Reflection Draft
Link: Here

Explanation of the peer activity selected: This was a video essay and as I had completed a video essay before in the past I thought it would be best for me to give my own suggestions from personal experience.

Explanation of how I helped the author with my feedback: I feel I helped Nicki as I gave useful feedback which I feel she will benefit from. In addition I think my feedback is very doable for Nicki and should be useful for her which can hopefully improve her video.

Explanation of how I used course material in my feedback: I used course material in my feedback by using past experience of giving peer reviews, and seeing past examples of video essays in d2l.

One thing I admired or learnt from: I like how she presents her reflection in a very descriptive and personal tone which I what I think the project is aiming students to go for. Great work!

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

It has come to an end. It was a hard semester but I made it. Yesssssssssssss

Audience question: I am anticipating to be more relaxed now and do the things I enjoy in life. Summer 2016 here I come.

Author response:
I want everyone to know that I feel I could have done this better but in all honesty, I had such little time to accomplish this assignment with finals, other essays and assignments during the week. I hope you enjoy it.

There are some issues with this as I feel I pronounce things wrong accidentally and could re edit some aspects. It is not perfect but it will hopefully make sense to listeners.

The strengths are that I give personal detail. I have a lot to talk about which shows that I did not have any trouble finding content. I also use a lot of the conventions for a podcast within my final piece.

Link

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Production Schedule

Audience question: I will manage my time well in order to get everything done this coming week. By completing a section each day, I will finish my project in time and have time to revise my work.

Schedule:

What is to be done:
-Gather evidence
-Begin intro
-Discuss with Professor Bottai about paper so far
-Finish main sections
-Finish conclusion
-Revise podcast and correct any issues

Location:
-Dorm
-Study room
-Library

Date and time:
-Monday 11:00-1:00, 7:00-12:00
-Tuesday 9:30-12:00, 1:00-3:00
-Wednesday 11:00-2:00

Resources required:
-Laptop
-Microphone
-Script
-Criteria

Content Outline

Audience Question: I will organize my project in a clear and easy to follow outline. Using a well-structured outline will help me write all my ideas and make sense.

Opening Section:

Intro statement: Over time as a writer I have improved consistently. With better sentence structure, trying to limit the use of passive voice and smoother transitions, the fluidity of my writing has improved. From constantly writing in new essays in different genres and reading books, my writing has improved.

How to catch reader’s attention: Ever since I was small I always had trouble writing. But with practice, I have learnt how to improve my writing.

Main body section 1:
Main idea: How writing in new genres has improved me as a writer
Evidence: From writing in many different genres from each project and completing the conventions, I have expanded my knowledge as a writer by writing in these new unfamiliar forms.

Evidence proves: Evidence proves that as I have written in different genres such as podcast, video essay, standard college essay and the quick reference guide.

Why evidence is important: Evidence is important as it explains as to how I have improved as a writer from writing in new genres.

Main body section 2:
            Main idea: How blog posts has helped my writing
Evidence: Posts such as research reports, peer reviews and editorial reports has helped me plan my essays better, credibility, and edit better.

Evidence proves:
How I have improved as writer, peer reviewer, and editor.

Why evidence is important: Evidence is important as it explains how my writing process has developed from the blog posts, and in class activities.  

Main body section 3:
            Main idea: How I have improved the credibility of my writing.
Evidence: By looking at each source’s reliability and showing as little bias as possible while using rhetorical strategies in my writing, my writing’s credibility has developed

Evidence proves:  The evidence proves that by learning how to be more critical about sources I use for my research and focusing on maintaining a non-bias voice in my writing, my writing has become more credible.

Why evidence is important:
Evidence is important as it explains to audience as to how the credibility of my writing has developed.

Closing section:

Explanation of larger significance of subject: By writing in new genres, blog posts, and focusing on credibility of my writing, my writing process has improved.






Peer Review for Sarah

Below is my peer review for Sarah. I hope my feedback will be useful for Sarah in the future.

Audience question: I practiced my editorial skills this week in peer review by giving Sarah suggestions on how to improve her standard college essay

Name: Sarah

Title: Production Report 14b

Hyperlink: Here

Explanation of peer review activity selected: I selected this work to peer review as it looked interesting to me. In addition I have already completed this genre in the past and with my experience I could give my classmate advice from my own opinion.

Explanation of how I helped the author: I helped give the author advice on how she could improve her essay by letting her know to give as much detail as possible. By having Sarah elaborate more on certain points will make her essay stronger.

Explanation of how I used course material in my peer review: By going over the past examples of the genre, and project 4 assignment sheet, I used course material to assess his work while giving feedback.

What I admired or learnt from: I admired the personal tone she used as it made the essay more interesting to read. I was never losing interest when reading her essay, as this personal reflective essay was a great work to read from.



Production Report 14b

Here is the other production report. There is still more to do but I believe I am on the right track.

Audience questions:
1. I decided to use form for my content by making a script. This would be more appropriate for my genre I believe. However I still use the same structure as an essay with an intro, three main sections and a conclusion. I have yet to add any sound effects to match the conventions of my genre.
2.The production of this raw material went well. I found this assignment to be a lot less challenging than the other projects. I say this since there is not as much research required for this assignment than the past assignments.


Outline Item:

Main body section 3:
            Main idea: How I have improved the credibility of my writing.
Evidence: By looking at each source’s reliability and showing as little bias as possible while using rhetorical strategies in my writing, my writing’s credibility has developed

Evidence proves:  The evidence proves that by learning how to be more critical about sources I use for my research and focusing on maintaining a non-bias voice in my writing, my writing has become more credible.

Why evidence is important:
Evidence is important as it explains to audience as to how the credibility of my writing has developed.

Adaptation of Outline Item:
Another factor, which contributed to improving my writing for this semester, are the blog post activities. Doing activities such as the “Research report” gave me an opportunity to analyze the reliability of the sources I use. This made me become more critical in my research and writing as I wanted to ensure that my sources were accurate and credible to use in my projects. In addition, blog assignments such as editorial reports was a task which benefited my writing in my project. The use of editorial reports was an opportunity to look back at my work, find the weaknesses and correct them. This definitely was an activity I benefited from as parts of my project I feel improved tremendously from this editorial activity. 

Production Report 14a

Below is my production report for the reflection assignment. This project will go well I feel.

Audience questions:
1. I decided to use form for my content by making a script. This would be more appropriate for my genre I believe. However I still use the same structure as an essay with an intro, three main sections and a conclusion. I have yet to add any sound effects to match the conventions of my genre.
2.The production of this raw material went well. I found this assignment to be a lot less challenging than the other projects. I say this since there is not as much research required for this assignment than the past assignments.

Outline Item:
Intro statement: Over time as a writer I have improved consistently. With better sentence structure, trying to limit the use of passive voice and smoother transitions, the fluidity of my writing has improved. From constantly writing in new essays in different genres and reading books, my writing has improved.


How to catch reader’s attention: Ever since I was small I always had trouble writing. But with practice, I have learnt how to improve my writing.



Adaptation of outline item:
Ever since I was small I always had trouble writing. But with practice over time, I have improved consistently improved as a writer. With better sentence structure, trying to limit the use of passive voice and smoother transitions, the fluidity of my writing has improved. From constantly writing in new essays in different genres, readings, using rhetorical strategies, all have helped improve my writing.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Editorial Report 13b

Below is another editorial report. I believe that the changes I have made have greatly improved the video essay which I feel make my project better overall.

Selection from rough cut:
1:18-2:32
Link

Re-Edited Selection:
2:02-3:11
Link

1. The content did not change too much. Instead of holding the focus only on the photos, I occasionally had the camera focus back to me and then to the photos. This was more effective as it reminded authors about who was talking and helped improve the transitions of my video essay.

2. The form changed as I made the photos last longer in the newer version of the video essay. This was to emphasis how poorly the workers were treated with the inhumane living standards the migrants in Qatar had to face.

Editorial Report 13a

Below are the attached link of the rough cut and fine cut. I did a little bit of editing which overall improved the form and content of my video essay.

Selection from Rough-cut:
0:37-1:13
Link

Re-Edited Selection:
1:06-1:23
Link

1. Honestly, the content hardly changed. Apart from pronunciation, tone and a few changes in word choice, nothing changed. The content is being communicated more effectively in the newer version as the camera can record me more clearer with better lighting.

2. The form changed slightly. I changed how the photos were placed in the video as well as when they enter in the video. I feel as though I spoke more clearly with the re-edited version.

Revised Post to Peer Reviewers

The project has officially ended. I did my best to improve my video essay and I am overall very proud of what I have created. I would appreciate it if anyone leaves a comment about what they thought of the video.

Audience question: I anticipate the post-production process to be easy. I have a lot of experience now completing three projects now. I learnt from my mistakes and have improved tremendously as a writer I believe.

Author Response:

Key information: FIFA is the soccer organization which governs all leagues and tournaments related to soccer in all countries around the world. Sep Blatter was the FIFA President at the time of the 2022 World Cup voting election. Qatar is a small but very rich oil nation in the middle east.

Major issues or weaknesses: I feel as though I could have add more as I feel something is missing. As to what it is I do not know. Additionally, the reasons I included are only the main issues about the Qatar World Cup, as there are also many other relevant and important problems about Qatar hosting the world cup which I did not have time to include.

Strengths of the fine cut: I feel as though I gave enough content and my own personal opinion in the video essay. I worked hard on making sure I met the conventions of my genre. It took a while to organize everything but I feel as though it was worth it in the end.

Fine Cut Link: Here

Reflection on Post Production Phase II

My freshman year is coming to an end along with the final stage of project 3. This was the most enjoyable project I completed in this class so far. Overall, project 3 went very well. Below is my reflection of the Post Production Phase II.

1. Success this week was adding more content to my video essay. In addition, I improved the form of the video essay as it is more structured. There is now a better flow in the video with transitions added to make the video look more professional.

2. Challenges were finding the time to do the video essay and improve on it. As the rough cut was done, I lost ideas on what to develop on or what I could add. I feel as though my video essay is missing something but I am not sure what is it exactly.

3. Next week will go well I think. Although I have two exams this coming week, I believe that I will be able to manage my time wisely as I will work on starting the next assignment.

4. I am feeling very relieved at this point. The project is almost over and I am very close to submitting the final copy. I did enjoy doing this project as it was fun to make a video essay, I was very passionate about the subject I chose as I have a great interest in this scandal and hold a strong opinion in this issue.

Peer review for Veronica

Veronica made a standard college essay. I enjoyed reading it and recommend fellow classmates to read. Below is my peer review for Veronica along with the attached link of her project.

Audience question: I practised my editorial skills this week in peer review activities and also by reviewing my own script for my video essay. My editorial skills have definitely improved by reading and assessing my classmates' works and giving advice on what to develop on.

Name: Veronica

Title: English Project 3: When I was Little

Hyperlink: Here

Explanation of the peer review activity selected: I chose this person's work as the topic looked interesting and I believe I could give valuable feedback. In addition this person is from a different section and I have never reviewed her work before.

Explanation of how I think my feedback helped the author: I think my feedback helped the author as I clearly gave doable and valuable feedback which the author will benefit from. I believe that if she follows my advice the paper will be more successful and improve the paper's quality overall. In addition, I did a standard college essay before as my genre for project 2. Thus, with my own experience I can help give her tips on what I did.

Explanation of how I incorporated course material into my feedback: By looking through the rubric of project 3 I used course material in my feedback. Additionally, as I have previous knowledge from giving past peer review feedbacks and having personally completed a standard college essay as my genre for project 2, I used course material into my feedback.

One thing I admired from their work or learnt from: I really enjoyed reading this essay through it's tone. The tone was very personal and story like which I admired. In addition the content given was very descriptive and easy to understand.

Peer review for Jake

Below is my peer review for Jake. Jake's topic was about school lunches which was an interesting essay. I recommend anyone to take a look at it.

Audience question: I practised my editorial skills this week in peer review activities and also by reviewing my own script for my video essay. My editorial skills have definitely improved by reading and assessing my classmates' works and giving advice on what to develop on.

Title:Packed vs. School Made Lunches: Which is the Better Option for your Child?

Author: Jake Gyles 

Hyperlink: Here

Explanation of peer activity chosen: I chose this draft as I do not believe I have looked at this student's work before. In addition, this student's work looked interested to give feedback on. In addition he is in my section making it suitable for me to choose this for peer review 13a.

Explanation of how I believe my feedback has helped the author in some way: I believe my feedback will help the author improve the overall form of his essay. As I did a standard college essay for my genre in the last project, my experience has allowed me to explain what things the author of a standard college essay should aim for and what to avoid doing.

Explanation of how I used course material in my feedback: By using previous knowledge I already had from giving peer reviews, I incorporated this previous knowledge in my work. Furthermore I used the rubric to refer from in my feedback.

One thing I learnt or admired from their work: What I admired from their work is how personal and story like it can be. This can be seen in the intro as Jake gives a very detailed essay which helps readers understand what is being described easily. In addition the subject to argue about is an interesting subject and it was interesting to hear what Jake's opinion was on this issue.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

Finally! My rough cut is finished and open for classmates to view. I feel as though there is still more work I could do to improve the video essay. I have yet to add some more video clips, photos and other graphics. None the less, I am pleased with my rough cut and feel comfortable finishing the rough cut in time. This is because I have managed my time well and have worked pretty well in advance.

Audience question:
Based off of what I have accomplished during the production phase, I anticipate the post-production phase to be smoother than this week. I have completed my rough draft and now have a foundation I can develop on. There are still some more things I could add and edit but I believe this will not take too long and will not be too much of a challenge hopefully.

Author response:
The topic for my project is about how I feel FIFA is doing a wrong decision in letting Qatar host the Fifa World Cup in 2022. Qatar has used bribery to win the bid, treated migrant workers unfairly, and do not permit homosexuality. These are only some the few reasons which I believe justify that Qatar should not host the World Cup.

The weaknesses in the rough cut is that there will be a few moments where pronounce things wrong. Another thing to note is that there will be a few awkward silent pauses in the video during transitions which is an issue I need to fix.

Strengths are that I managed to include all my ideas well. I used some of the conventions and presented a somewhat news report style video which I believe makes the video look credible and somewhat professional to an extent.

Rough Cut Here

Editorial Report 12b

This another selection from the rough cut which I have re-edited. I believe that the changes I have made will greatly improve my project's content.

Selection from 'Rough Cut':
The workers building stadiums for the World Cup is just another problem, which indicates that Qatar hosting the World Cup is not a good idea. Almost all of the workers that are constructing the stadiums for the World Cup are migrants from India, Pakistan, Nepal and other underdeveloped nations. They are working inhumane conditions with poor living standards. Firstly, there is evidence that proves that the migrant workers are forced to stay and work in Qatar. Qatari companies have taken away the passports of migrant workers and are thus not permitted to leave. Furthermore, the workers are paid close to nothing considering the amount of work they contribute. The living standards are also poor with most living in slums. This violation of basic human rights is just one of the many factors which prove that Qatar should not be allowed to host the world cup. These acts in many cases show how similar workers are to slaves.

Re-edited Selection:
Another issue behind hosting the World Cup in Qatar is the treatment of workers involved in the construction projects for the World Cup. Almost all of the workers that are constructing the stadiums for the World Cup are migrants from India, Pakistan, Nepal and other underdeveloped nations. The migrant workers have been found working in inhumane conditions with poor living standards. Firstly, there is evidence that proves that the migrant workers are forced to stay and work in Qatar. Qatari companies have taken away the passports of migrant workers and are thus not permitted to leave. Furthermore, the workers are paid close to nothing. This is unfair considering the amount of work they contribute. The living standards are also poor with most living in slums. This violation of basic human rights is just one of the many factors which prove that Qatar should not be allowed to host the world cup. These acts in many cases show how similar workers are to slaves.

1. The content changed as I elaborated more on certain points in the selected section of my project. In addition I corrected some grammatical and spelling errors. I did change some words to more vocab words which makes my project sound more credible.

2. The form of this section did not change to much. I mostly changed the length of certain sentences. In addition I made the introductory or topic sentence more concise and shorter. These changes I feel will help present the content more effectively.