Editorial Report 12a

Below is my editorial report. I believe that this activity helped improve the quality of my script which will be beneficial for my video essay.

Selection from 'Rough Cut': The FBI and other investigators believe that bribery took place in the 2022 World Cup campaign and led to Qatar winning the bid believe it. It is possible that this improper act was done for Qatar’s economic gain. In relation, the F.B.I. has discovered that a Qatari firm paid FIFA vice president Jack Warner around $2 million for supporting the Qatari campaign’s bid. This shows that the Qatar World Cup bid should be revoked from this injustice.

Re-edited Selection:

The FBI and other investigators believe that bribery took place in the 2022 World Cup campaign. They also suspect that this is the primary reason that led to Qatar winning the bid to host the World Cup. Additionally it is possible that this improper act was done for Qatar’s economic gain. In relation, the F.B.I. has discovered that a Qatari firm paid FIFA vice president Jack Warner around $2 million for supporting the Qatari campaign’s bid. This shows that the Qatar World Cup bid should be revoked from these unlawful acts. 


1. The content changed slight as I changed certain words. I also made some sentences shorter and less wordy. In addition I made more sentences as many of my sentences from the rough cut were too complex and long.

2. The form did not change too much to be honest. The sentences lengths changed as I made many of the sentences more simple and less wordy.